The Unofficial New Ending to the Holy Grail
by Bob the Crossdressing Dinosaur
Summary: I know no one really liked the ending, so here is another new and improved ending! ::Smiles for an invisible camera:: Please read and review!


I actually found the ending to The Holy Grail somewhat funny. I almost expected something after the 40 minutes of music. But nothing was there. Oh well :(

But for you people who didn't enjoy the ending, here's my first attempt at a real fic thing, rather than a death threat to all computers.

Please read and review!

Our heroes reach the French's gates…..

Meanwhile in a hospital located in the real world…

"Sir, you are free to leave. You only suffered from a mild hearth attack, and you were quite lucky that your head hit the auto dialer for an ambulance. But as I said, you are free to leave now," explained the doctor, prior to almost giving him ANOTHER heart attack, after seeing the bill.

So the famed animator returned to his humble home and continued to draw his monster, oblivious to the fact that the scene he was hired for had long since ended. Meanwhile, at the castle Aaaah, the fairly- brave knights were reuniting with some old friends…

"Take that (Ibaa/i) and that! (Imoo/i)" cried the French guards.

"Wait!" cried the cartoonist. "Nobody told me my scene was over!"

"It's ok, the scene went on without you!" Said the director. "We'll still pay you the same amount though, don't worry."

"I am an honest man, and I absolutely INSIST that you let me draw for the time you are paying me for!"

And with that, the animator located the knights, king, various farm animals and French guards. And he drew.

"Whet izz zat?" Cried a Frenchman. "It looks like…"

"Oh no!" cried another, "Eet izz a…"

But before the knights could look to see what was so terrifying, and risk losing their last clean pair of pants that hadn't been misused as a toilet, and before the farm animals could get away, the animator drew a fence to lock in the knights and blindfolds on the animals.

Which he quickly erased and drew correctly.

The whatever-it-was devoured everyone on top of the castle Aaaah, and everyone in it. The artist erased the monster and wiped a tear off of his eye. He, like most sane people, knew that the good guys always win, and was proud to play a part in the royal groups' victory.

King Arthur removed his blindfold, as did the rest of his crew. They marched to the castle, with heroic music playing in the background. They opened the castle's gate. After searching almost everywhere in the castle, they stumbled upon the royal kitchen, only to find, butt sticking out of the refrigerator…

"Lord?" Exclaimed Arthur

"What? You were expecting someone else?" Asked God, scarfing down a piece of chicken. He downed some juice from a fancy cup.

"THE HOLY GRAIL!!!" exclaimed Arthur and the knights in unison.

"Oh. *URP,* you are right. Here. Have fun with it."

God tossed them the Holy Grail, just as a lamb, ho had escaped the fence rammed into God.

The Grail went flying through the air.

Someone pushed the slow motion button on.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO," Arthur yelled, doing the fairly odd slow motion dive that mimicked the moves of a falling fish out of water.

Trained in the arts of catching falling objects while in slow motion, Arthur put his knowledge to the test, and easily caught the Holy Grail. He was grateful for getting an honest A in that class, as opposed to his courses, where he had exchanged Britain's land for passing grades.

Someone pressed the slow motion button again, and the king tumbled to the floor.

Music went on in the background as Arthur groveled before God.

"Oh Lord, we beseech thee with-"

"Cut that out!" whined God "I told you before that I hate when people grovel me before me."

"Yes," groveled Arthur "Anything you say King of the world, master of the universe, redeemer of-"

And with that, God blew Arthur into a ball of flames, making an example of him to the rest of the world.

Sir Robin the-not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot (a/n: He survived the bridge, okay? Give him SOME credit people!!) whimpered and cowered behind the lamb. He was terrified, and he REALLY needed a hug. And there was a soft fuzzy lamb right in front of him.

So he hugged the lamb.

And his sword dug into the lamb.

And they all had lamb for dinner.

And from that day forth, Sir Robin the-not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, because know as Sir Robin the-not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, but-we-will-forgive-him-because-we-had-a-really-tasty-lamb-thank-to-him. Which was later on shortened to 'Hey You!'

King Arthur realized, while hurtling across the world in a ball of flame, that he did not like the duties of a king. The knowledge about swallows and coconuts, and being attacked by cows throw by Frenchmen no longer appealed to him as it once had. So he let Dennis from scene 3 rule England with their anarcho-syndicalist commune government, and was never heard from again.

centerThe End/center

Author's note: No animals were hurt in the making of this ending. Just deeply traumatized. And yes, I know there were no refrigerators in medieval times, but I didn't want God eating out of the dog's dish, so I used the all powerful poetic license!!!

Please review!!!!


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